The Tale of Two Coronas

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The tale of two Coronas

Ooh, my little echo’s one, my echo’s one
When you gonna give me some truth, Corona!
Ooh, you make my propaganda motor run, my motor run
Got it coming off false lines, Corona!

I’m Never gonna stop, telling the truth, such a dirty mind
I always provide you with proof, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Corona!

Come a little closer, huh, a-will ya, huh?

Close enough to get arosol droplets in my eyes, Corona!
Keeping it a 6 feet, So it doesn’t get to granny

How are there so many new people Running down the length of my street?, Carona!

They’re never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Corona
M-m-m-my Corona

When you gonna give to me, a gift to me
Is it just a matter of time, the Corona?
Is it d-d-destiny, d-destiny
Or is it just a game in my mind, Corona?

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
Just fucking stay at home, for the touch of our elder folks

My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Corona
M-m-m-my Corona
M-m-m-my Corona

M-m-m-my Corona

Ooooooo-ohhh, my Corona
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Corona
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Corona



Now for the serious part.  We have 2 coronas.  We have the real virus that is a real pandemic.  It has been since December 2019, only a couple months after the virus was discovered had been infecting people in the new city of Wuhan, China.    Rumors have been flying to justify the pain and fear that we are all feeling.    Even as of today, April 1st, 2020 the Chinese government could not have handled the situation more poorly.  They convinced the World Health Organization [WHO] that they had it under control, that they were properly quarantining the city, and that the outbreak was isolated to the city of Wuhan.  By December, the doctor that warned the Chinese government that a ferociously aggressive virus was spreading rapidly.  He died.  He warned of the virus on December 31st, 2019.  Dr. Li Wenliang died on February 7, 2020.

I will preface this early to say, this issue is no reason to look at a person of Asian descent and assume they will give you some kind of virus.  It is the time to look at every human being and assume they will give you some kind of virus.  This, hopefully, won’t last forever.  Xenophobia is a trait that somehow has magically transferred through generations and will cause much more death and destruction that an aggressive virus.

The actions of the Chinese government are not the actions of Chinese people, and the majority of “Chinese” people in the world have never been to Wuhan.  There is no grand conspiracy here.  The country tried to save face and fucked up. Bad.  The WHO just listened to reports, what else were they supposed to do?  From a practical standpoint, only the reporters on the ground would see that the numbers didn’t match what the government was reporting.   An article written in January, 2020  displays the freedom of press that has been actively suppressed in the country.  Is this the fault of journalists?  No, so don’t blame Asian looking people that may have nothing to do with the government of China.  I don’t blame your Irish-Catholic ass for all the rapist priests.

It is obvious to describe the Coronavirus, the Wuflu, the Kung Flu, the ‘Rona, My ‘Rona, and my favorite Winnie the flu, as a pandemic.  Maybe there was nothing to be done.  Like a wildfire, there is only so much humanity can do accept protect self.  The best way to protect self is to stay informed, and away from danger.

Here is where we are introduced to the 2nd Corona.  This one is far more dangerous.  It includes conspiracy theories, bungled policies, and misinformation.  As soon as I heard about the virus in January, I knew it would get to the US.  This planet is extremely connected, and in the peak of technological implementation, we can jump on a flight and get to the other side of the planet in hours.  If this were 1850, the person telling this story would be laughed out of the room.  Alas, here we are.  We have had pandemics regularly, and it has been an apolitical issue to protect countries from nature.  It’s not that the coronavirus wants to kill you, it just wants to multiply;  like humans.  So why can we fault it for killing its host?  Look what we have been doing to the planet.

The first thing America did was find a way to play politics.  We have been in a binary race for dick measuring since 2015, with ~20% of the country utilizing fox news as their primary news source.  A Pew research poll came out describing that if a person received “news” from fox, they actually had less knowledge on issues.  With 88% of consistent conservatives trust Fox News, it is no wonder that when Devin Nunes went on to fox news and said, “It’s a great time to go out” on March 15th, it may have caused hundreds, if not thousands of lives.  This rotting piece of shit has done more to damage America than John Wilkes Booth.

For the first time since Donald Trump became president, he found someone who was worse than him insofar as damaging the American people.  Fox news put Devin Nunes on the air the same day that the President announced, “This is a very contagious virus.  It’s incredible. But it’s something that we have tremendous control over.” — March 15, 2020.

Of course, this doesn’t admit that the country should have been on serious social distancing lockdown.  The first death was on February 29th. By the time he called it a hoax, 15 people had died, 7x the amount of deaths that President Obama allowed during the Ebola crisis – if one wants to play the kind of stupid games that the fox news crowd portends.

Instead the president went and said, “We have a very active flu season, more active than most. It’s looking like it’s heading to 50,000 or more deaths – deaths, not cases. 50,000 deaths – which is, that’s a lot. And you look at automobile accidents, which are far greater than any numbers we’re talking about. That doesn’t mean we’re going to tell everybody no more driving of cars. So we have to do things to get our country open.”

This is a different story.  Most Americans know that their leader is full of shit.  It is only a small portion of people who voted for this buffoon.  63 million Americans voted for him.  That number was burned in my head during the impeachment trial, as if it was some sort of majority.  There are 56 million children in the United States, I’m certainly not taking their political advice.  So, this vocal minority with a violent grasp on stubborn people who still pay for cable has been gradually decreasing, along with fox news viewers.

Being that fox news viewers stick to an old medium, it is an obvious correlation that they are old themselves, and thus more vulnerable to the Coronavirus.  The danger that people like  Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Trish Reagan, who got fired so fox news could say they were proactive against the anti-coronavirus propaganda, are all complicit in actively trying to kill their base.  Just like the dullards who vote for Republicans, Fox News has convinced its base to act against their own self-interest.

Don’t worry, they walked it back.  We have 4,300 deaths  as of the writing of this article, with states who voted for Trump not reporting, nor testing as much as other states, yet their numbers are increasing at a greater pace than what we call “blue” states.  “Red” states have a more libertarian view of social safety nets.  And by libertarian, I mean they have governors that could give a shit about the poor people that they reign over.  There are constant pictures and articles of measures done by certain states that are inhumane and third-worldly, such as a picture showing the good graces of the city of Las Vegas painting a parking lot with squares just so they can teach the homeless people how to social distance properly.  These parking lots are CASINO PARKING LOTS where the casinos currently have a 95% vacancy.

There is a different virus that has infected the world for a long time.  It is the one that sucks empathy from a human psyche.  I’m not blaming fox news.  Of course they play their role in magnifying xenophobia, racism, pandering to tax cuts for the rich that hurt their base, and convincing their listeners that if we were to allow same-day voter registration that illegal Mexicans would come in and vote, taking away the more important white vote.

Remember the Pew research poll.  Well, since 87% of fox news viewers are identified as white, it follows that fox news assumes that white=racist.   A blatantly false claim, yet we continue to have a propaganda outlet to propagate these claims.   It is a dangerous precedent to set, but the plan has been in action since the creation of the network.

I’m glad to see the vast majority of Republicans walk backwards.  Half of them look like they have a front-butt anyway (haha, we’re all fat Americans!), might as well walk that way.  As soon as Fox News walked back the hoax claims that were started by the President, then leaked down to his sycophants, the people started to scramble toward the nearest social safety net.

I was taken away my social safety net when Donald Trump came into office.  The first executive order was to repeal Obamacare .  So, as a contractor, I was taken away my only safety net.  I spent the next few years  saving up money, and being prepared for a moment like this.  I was prepared, but as soon as the Republicans heard that they would be out of work for 2 weeks, they ran to the stores and bought all the toilet paper.  Didn’t they know the Federal reserve is printing out trillions of sheets as we speak to protect Donald Trump’s campaign on a strong economy?  If the Federal Reserve continues to print money this way, we are going to start looking like Zimbabwe very soon.  But hey, where are all those bootstraps I was told to strap on?

Why did we ever attach healthcare to a job?  Well, because lobbyists convinced politicians that this was the cheapest way to operate.  Nobody wants to pay taxes, but nobody wants to die from an illness.  When you decide to pay someone less than it costs to clothe, feed, house, and secure their emergency healthcare needs, you are doing worse than slavery.  At least the slaves were a commodity that needed those things.  A dead slave is a lost investment.  There are always more workers.  Right?  Right?

Oh wait, the lockdown has forced all of these Libertarian Republicans to have their hands out like a groveling child at the arcade; begging for healthcare, begging to increase the control of the government, and begging for a “stimulus check”.  Ben Shapiro, an obnoxious new-wave libertarian has made his career out of his libertarian views.  So much so, that he had to say repeatedly, “This is not a bail-out”  Where are your bootstraps  Ben? Instead, he did like every other Republican, blamed Nancy Pelosi.   I guess, it was the Democrats fault for making the Republicans beg to have corporations bailed out before these companies even filed for bankruptcy.

When we see the MyPillow guy up there at a Pandemic response announcement for the president, I thought he was gonna offer free my pillows with your casket.  This was the 3rd time that the President marched a bunch of CEO’s up to the podium to talk to the American people and let them stroke each other off.  Why?  The defenders of Republican logic might say it is because private business will do a better job at distribution and efficacy.  I largely agree, but these CEO’s are what I call shadow diplomats.  They do not behold to anyone but profit.  In a time like this, they can’t make profit, so maybe their voiced shouldn’t be heard.

The first was when Donald Trump was mocking the concept of a pandemic, and marched the CEO’s of Walgreens, Walmart, and CVS who didn’t even give anything.  They all claimed to offer the use of “their” parking lots.  Well, I got news for you, that’s not theirs!  Walmart leases the land from whatever incorporated city it operates, so they are announcing that, “You can use your own space!  We’re sorry we slapped down a square mile of useless concrete and monopolized the retail for miles and miles.  In exchange, we are going to allow you to conduct testing in “our” parking lots”

Oh you philanthropic overlord, thank you so much.  It isn’t enough that Walmart alone costs  taxpayers $6.2 billion/year due to underpaying their employees!

Does it matter which virus is worse?  Is it true that we can’t have the cure be more harmful than the disease?  I guess it depends on which disease we are talking about.




If you like what I write, here is a full book:

Memoirs of Mediocrity: showerthoughts the movie

Please donate or share




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