I am the guy that loses at never have I ever.

If Only [NSFW]

Not usually my cup of tea, but why say no?




FantASStic
I matched with her and tried a generic line. But, I opened for more conversation.
Here is where things get juicy! I’m going to start my disbelief here.
At this point, I thought I made a mistake. I was second-guessing myself because I thought there may have been a chance she was looking for a fwb situation, and not a right-now situation.
A bot can’t jump from app to phone number can it?
So far, nothing seems too crazy.
At this point, I’m thinking this might seem legit. I have traveled that far to meet some random woman just to take a road trip. Then…
Well! Hey now! I didn’t ask for it, so it means that she just must be some crazy sex hound willing to bypass 2 million people on the 150 mile drive just to jump my bones!
s://oi1070.photobucket.com/albums/u496/hackmalafor/20190830_171921_zpsq4oqmh8s.jpg
Oh my god. would you look at that? who in Temple, Texas uses Kilometers?
This is kind of fun. Another picture I didn’t ask for. The “baby” part was a huge red flag!
Hey look at that, a random highway, I never did a revers GIS on it, but I assume it was plucked off the internet.
A Kohl’s credit card? for gas? Where are there these gas stations that you can buy underwear AND fuel up? Might as well pick up some beef jerky and a Kolache.
Here is where the fun begins! Trolling the troll. I didn’t want to just tell this person off, I wanted to see if I could extend this scammer’s time a little further. This message was sent 15 minutes before she was supposed to arrive.
This is the part where she starts to tug on my heartstrings. They are quite rigid, so she wasn’t plucking hard enough. I don’t know how to fix gas.
True story. Rolled by 3 women who were convincing a blacked out dude. watched him punch in his at pin code, venmoed themselves thousands, and then dropped his drunk ass off at a strip club and bolted with his phone. It must suck to get stucked.
I tried to pull it back. I knew I had lost the scammer. They can’t speak english particularly well (neither can I), but they seem to know when the battle is lost.
Damn, and just when I started to up the ante, she got mad and that was the last I heard.


It isn’t crazy for a woman to travel from the country to the big city just for any excuse, but it is rare. A hysterical, broken-up-with woman might do something erratic. A woman with a 6th grade education might try to buy gas with a Kohl’s card, but this was an elaborate ruse.

I have met some very ditzy women, and even some that made it as far as their 50s before they were locked into a cage of housewifedom. There is a slim chance that Allison Park was actually some girl from Temple, who broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to just move to Dallas – a genuine fear I had if this had been a real person.

If there is some off chance that this was a real person, Allison Park, I would still give you $50 to pay for your fuel to get home. If you are the scammer, you have my address, please come visit me. I would like to show you what the real world looks like.












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