I am the guy that loses at never have I ever.

Tinderello

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“I had a long week. It was only Wednesday, but it felt like I hadn’t had a day off in forever.
With 3 kids and no else to carry the load,
It feels like I haven’t got laid in forever.

So, I made the crazy leap. I chose a guy off Tinder
He was very attractive. I read some of his writing.
I figured if he is what he represents, the night could be more than a bender.

He had already messaged me, I waited a full day to reply.
I’m a busy woman. He responded within minutes
Might I be in luck? Or will I be single until the day I die?

Most of the guys don’t even have anything written on their profile.
This guy’s was precise and to the point.
What is he hiding? Why does he think my time would be worthwhile?

I’m strong, I’m independent, I can handle this man.
So we tried to meet up close to where I was working.
The banter seemed urgent, I decided on a new plan.

We decided to meet at a local watering hole.
If this guy is a douchebag, at least I can relax.
I am proud of my place in this world, despite the rigamarole.

He showed up after me, I was already a beer down.
It wasn’t that I was nervous
I had expected someone short, with a frown.

To my surprise showed up a beautiful man.
As impressive as his writing
I felt intimidated, and that changed my plan.

He focused on my attention, matching and mirroring while we spoke.
We shared laughs, stories,
And I didn’t have to pretend to laugh at his jokes.

He went to the bathroom, immediately a guy came to talk to me
He couldn’t have been attracted.
I was simply all he could see.

When my Tinderello returned, he grabbed his drink and didn’t break up our talk
The guy was tall, and confident
My Tinderello sat away, perched up to watch.

And I thought my Tinderello was too good, someone is playing a game!
I went to the bathroom, 4 beers down, a necessity
Will they plot against me? Could I return to shame?

No matter what happens, at least I’m nice and drunk
Returning to 3 empty seats
I knew that this night wouldn’t end my funk

Two beautiful women arrived, and stole both of their attentions
My Tinderello essentially decided to talk to them
This is the typical expectation of their attentions

I am the self-proclaimed platonic friend
The tides had turned,
I knew how the night would end.

Tinderello decided to ignore the two ladies
Instead, he chose to discuss the recent events
He tried to convince me opposite of the maladies

I knew that guy wanted to use me as a gaming post
To make other girls jealous.
It’s happened before, Guy’s just want to boast!

Tinderello had a different story, saying that guy liked me.
But I wanted him, putting me in a strange place.
I knew I lost the opportunity.

Our conversation had a strong up and down.
Being an asshole or independant,
Doesn’t need tiara or a crown.

Some toddler came up, and tried to join our conversation
Honestly boring the both of us,
Showing us multiple fake identification

This little thing was cute, but dumb.
I knew I lost my Tinderello
With how hard of an attack from this one.

I tried to keep conversation with the bartender
She had a great smile, maybe I have a shot
My sexuality knows no gender.

It’s not like my Tinderello is even attracted
I’m drunk, I’m angry,
And so many other girls distracted

The baby left the bar with a couple of other dudes,
Fuck that girl.
I didn’t even like her attitude!

I don’t care if she is 14, or even got raped
Even the bartender was happy
Responsibility was escaped

We closed down the bar, and Tinderello gave me a chance
I wasn’t feeling his intentions
And already accepted a lack of romance.

I told him I wanted to see him again, he agreed.
Making plans at 3am doesn’t carry much weight
I called it a win, but did I succeed?

I woke up in the morning to a whiny little guy
Asking for things I refuse to give
Leaving me wondering, why?

I lost my chance with the guy at the bar
Now Tinderello wants what I don’t think he’s worth
I should have taken a shot and taken him in my car.

Looking back on the night, I didn’t succeed.
Two separate men wanted to fuck me.
They just wanted to spill their seed

There were so many pretty women at the honky tonk
Pushing down my self esteem
I will never get out of this funk.

If I weren’t so stubborn, I could have left in haste
Woken up with a man in my bed,
But instead I decided to remain chaste.

Timing isn’t important, I bring so much to the table
I don’t care about competition for love.
Why enter the whirlwind, my life is stable.

I can just cry and play the victim of circumstance
I didn’t miss my chances.
I earned everything I have, there is no chance.

I can fuck me better than any one can
Until the batteries run out.
Why do I even need a man?

All he did was give me kids that burden my career
I’m the alpha in my world
If I ignore my emotions, I can see clear.

All those other dumb girls taking guys home,
Are in for a burdensome situation
If they only knew that men are just a bone.

So I’m going to keep treating myself, eating and drinking my life away.
The simple joys of gluttony,
Will get transcend me from day to day.

Whether or not my life feels complete
I am tired of trying to meet guys,
Why do I have to compete?’

Because Life is competitive, you have to go out and get what you want.
You only get so many chances, impressions.
Chances fall away when you are reluctant.

We all have emotions that ebb and flow
You had your chance to create something
Now you can justify yourself by saying you let go.

You never even grabbed at, never even tried
Too busy feeling sorry for yourself
And competing with guys

Women who are powerful in the workplace, want a powerful man
Their expectations are high,
But they don’t have a foolproof plan.

They are all flawed in that they want a great guy
What did you do to deserve it?
You pull and pull and pull, giving maybe you could try.

The shift in financial power has changed the game.
At the end of the day you are in control
Expecting old methods will not treat you the same

You don’t get to make all the money, and expect someone to chase
You have to go out and grab what you want
It doesn’t matter the money, you’ll never replace.

I will say it a million times, take it to the grave
“Love and money are like oil and water.”
You’re winning the rat-race, but don’t know how to behave.

Learn to take advantage of an opportunity presented
Don’t cry poor in the game of love
I gave you and opportunity, you lamented.

You had a brief moment, where you could have changed his world.
I was looking for a woman.
He was looking for a girl.

Girl, you could have had a great night.
Instead you went home after a full night of bragging,
Empty handed, in spite.

You will venture off, building lies inside your head.
Creating a story of how you did everything right,
Ignoring the immediacy of competition, instead.

You battle as a professional, you work so hard.
Sitting on your fat ass is not hard work
You don’t get to play that card.

Money is just another game, just like this one
I can’t feel bad for you.
I might be broke, but I’m not dumb

I see the value in people, and have too much empathy
I wanted to help you
But you didn’t want to help me.

We think everyone has a soulmate, we sell it with muster
There are 8 billion people on the planet.
Impractical standards will leave you a buster.

If you attacked the dating game like you attack your career
You wouldn’t have to fuck youself so often
You might come home to someone you love dear.

Instead, you make excuses, so you can complain as you tell yourself lies
You are not as attractive as you think you are.
Plain and simple, your arrogance does not attract guys.

It isn’t your body, or the fact you are overweight.
It is you, your shitty attitude.
Sorry, this was not a good date.

We accentuate what we are good at, and ignore the shitty things.
Talking down to a person, or over a person,
Does not make that person feel like a human being.

It’s your personality, you embrace your strength,
But this is the dating game
You aren’t providing anything to be held at length

I’m sorry for the hard truth, You had a moment
A window to pull me in,
When I wasn’t feeling cogent.

Now that things are more clear, I saw and I know,
That you can’t provide anything to me
I’m sorry but I have to go.

Maybe next time you will reach out and grab what was presented to you.
You are in control up to a point
It isn’t about what you do.

It’s about who you are, it’s about how he feels you will make his life better.
Take what you can when it is presented to you, or
you can be selfish, or treat yourself, or whatever.

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