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Embracing my addictions

Turning into the skid

Succumbing to inhibitions

Nowhere to hide from this kid.

Bored from constant repetition.

As I’m pulling another one up

A mild order of salutation

Looking for answers at the bottom of the cup.

Why do I continue to hang out with Mary?

She’s constantly asking for more.

Being without her can be scary

Withdrawal symptoms grinding at the core

Pick your poison

Pick your vice

Everything good

Comes at a price

Let’s address our addictions

Or at least transfer the weight

“I’ll quit tomorrow.

It will be a clean slate.”

Being without her is easy

Being with her is fun

Abolition makes me queasy

Coming back from a dry run.

That plug came through!

We’re going out Friday night

Any decision I choose,

It will be tight.

If I had to choose being alone,

Or being with her

Sobriety she will condone

But that other option is pure.

Listing all the reasons

I shouldn’t do it again

Daily, monthly, through the seasons

This room feels like the pen.

Options are a plenty

Options can be the vice

Despite my sovereignty

Choosing nothing will suffice.

Why are the biggest fights when we are alone?

Just me, and an inanimate object.

As if I’m arguing with my clone.

So similar to me, doubtful to object.

The absence of thought is believed by many

Too many thoughts a concern to others.

Parallel thoughts seem uncanny

Commiserating with brothers.

We are all battling vices

For which we will never win.

Variety and all those spices

Will only present a different sin.

I thought I had control

Believing only in the power of me

But as I got weaker from personal vitriol

And persistent agamy.

I lost control of the body.

I treated my clone poorly

Too busy pleasing everybody

Too many organs feeling sorely

Life is suffering.

But does it have to be?

I have an idea that’s enlightening

I’ll just spark another tree.

Leave the pain for tomorrow

Or a few hours from now.

Why waste my time in sorrow?

Oh, that’s right…I’m fallow.

It will just take a bit of nurturing

To rise like the phoenix.

Internal and external pressuring

And avoiding the wrong antics.

I could say that

I could say this

I could be lying to myself

I could be utterly selfish.

It’s only an addiction

If you don’t love it.

Most call it affection

She is still my favorite.

She never truly goes away

Memories of greatness

Are reminders day after day.

We can’t travel without baggage

We are a result of what we have done.

Accept who we are. Enjoy your plus one.

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