I am the guy that loses at never have I ever.

An ode to the ten second shower

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I jump in,

I jump out.

I turn the water on,

And it dribbles from the spout.


There is no temperature gauge,

I have to trust the setting.

With the shower head inches from the wall,

Receiving barely a wetting.


The button last all but a few seconds.

Who designed this tiny enclosure?

It’s as if the designer never showered,

Or didn’t think to do a once over.


Sure there’s a curtain,

Just watching water pass by

Nearly an inch of soaked floor

Has my head shaking, why?


Gotta save that space!

Every square meter counts.

Cramming four to a room

God forbid the closet was taken out.


I can’t raise my hands,

Without hitting a wall

This entire bathroom

Is smaller than a toilet stall.


Where do I put the bottle?

I guess they didn’t plan that ahead.

Drop it on the floor

And have to leave the shower instead.


If I reached down to pick it up,

my knees hit the walls.

It’s a good thing I’m skinny

Or I wouldn’t have washed my balls.


After leaning on the button

And pressing a hundred times.

Trying to rinse away my travel dust

And put moisture on my mind.


I managed a bit more than ten seconds.

I worked the designer’s little trick.

Who sets the water for ten seconds?

Dear designer, you’re a prick!

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