In a Matter of Time

Getting comfortable is a very interesting part of meeting someone new.  Kids that grew up alone were encouraged by their parents to introduce themselves to new children in a plethora of ways, but children who grew up with siblings were not forced into this zone of discomfort.  I grew up with a 6 person household, 3v3, where the only children were coming to us. Despite feeling like I have never had enough practice in making new friends due to relying on my family at a young age, I have always felt I could entertain someone new.

Going on an official date is passe.  It was on its way out when I became an adult, and the more formal I tried to make the experience, the more likely it crashed and burned before the night ended.  Meeting someone new in a casual environment has always provided a better arena for success. Now, instead of your mom or dad physically pushing you in the back, encouraging you to go meet that person who you are showing interest, but too shy too proceed, alcohol is the proverbial parent guiding an adult with a little shove in the back. A leap of faith is often preceded by a push

Maybe you meet at a bar, maybe a restaurant.  Either way, you are enjoying each other’s company, and time is ignored. Bored people always feel there is too much, busy people feel there is too little  The party for two can’t stop. Maybe you go to another bar, maybe you take a walk. No matter what, the magnetism has begun and attraction is being used in literal form.  Maybe you take him home, maybe he takes you home, but it’s late and you haven’t yet decided how much you like this person, but neither of you are ready to let go.

The morning comes, you say your goodbyes.  The awkwardness of waking up in a stranger’s home should never feel comfortable. “Ya, I’m just used to waking up in strange places all the time.  You know what? I sleep best in a place I stumbled upon in the middle of the night!” says only the psychopathe.

Exhausted from all the effort, excitement, engagement, extra-curricular entertainment, etc. you are ready to be alone again.  It has been countless numbers of nights slept alone, but there is pieces of you that are more comfortable with solitude. Isolation for an adult is earned more than it is given, so as you find that solitude, you hold back everything that needed to be withheld until the moment you find yourself alone.

‘Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppphhhhhhoooooooooouuuuuuu’ and you let out a huge fart, because there are married people who don’t fart around each other! You just spent 12 hours with each other.

“From what I’ve found, 10 times a day is normal to fart, but up to twice that can be considered normal, with a big range in the volume as well.”
Dr. Beth Howard

So, we can safely say that the average person is passing gas once an hour.  If you have spent 12 hours straight with a person, the chances are, both parties needed to go to the bathroom, just to vent!  

The explosion that happens after a date is inevitable, and it came from your bum.

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